2011 was a helluva year. *inhale, exhale*
I officially entered the Dirty 30 last year, and I can say that I became a "for real" adult. No, I didn't just move out on my own, or just get a "real" job or anything like that. I became a "real adult" because life kicked my natural arse...and I survived. I've been blessed my entire life not to really know much struggle. I've overcome some obstacles. I've managed some road blocks, but I'd hafta to say that 2011 was the year that made me realize without a doubt, who I am and WHOSE I am. Everything that could come crashing down, came crashing down...almost. I won't claim a "Job" experience (thank God my family was untouched), but pretty much, everything else was fair game...except my health, though carpal tunnel tried to take me down for a spell too. LOL. I found myself standing flat foot, looking up, like, "ok God, what is it that you want me to know?" As I closed last year, I wanted to share with you what I learned. I promise, if these are lessons you haven't learned and you find yourself in a massive life struggle, you may wanna stop focusing so much on what's wrong and keenly focus on what the teachable moment may be and ultimately the person you are destined to be, as a result.
- Extraordinary things can't happen in an ordinary place to ordinary people: Complacency will stall out your blessing. I've accepted (and not in a conceited manner) that I am special. I have spent a great portion of my life trying to downplay my light, my gifts and my being, because I don't want to be looked at differently or like I think I'm better than anyone. At the core of who I am, I'm a servant. I'm always looking to help someone. Well, the 1st lesson was, "how do you expect to help anyone when you're in hiding? How can anyone see you, what you've overcome, and who they can be, if they can't see you?" We can shirk who we are. And when we do, the walls come tumbling down. Here's something to know, forever and a day: it's NOT about you. Everything you are, experience, feel, hope, dream, have...NONE of it is about you. Everything is about how you can bless/affect someone else. So when you cower, you keep someone else's blessing hostage and that is bad business. Everything I tried to squat on is tied to blessings for other people, and last year I learned that NO ONE'S blessings will go squandered when they're attached to me, whether I like it or not. The very foundation of your life will be shaken to get you uncomfortable and in the position you were meant to be in to be a success and help someone else succeed. You can either walk the right way or be flipped upside down and around and around and somehow wind up in the direction you were meant to anyway.
- Humility: As quickly as you are exalted is as quickly you can find yourself with your face in the sand. You don't even have to be super haughty to find yourself humbled. I wasn't (I hope). I just had to be broken. In pieces even. I'm still not sure what purpose that served entirely, but I believe that I needed to depend solely on God, period. Like I said, I've never really known much struggle, but that's mostly because my parents have been such great sources of provision. This year, I found myself unable (and unwilling) to go to them in that capacity...unable to make much happen for myself and only able to lean on God. What that showed me was something I've "known" all along, but never KNEW til 2011...everything I need is already inside of me...God is all I need. In my lowest, deepest, darkest hour, even with a wonderful set of family and friends, there was NO ONE who could do for me what I ultimately had to do for myself, ONLY through the strength that God gave me and favor He showed me. Lesson: stop looking to others to help you, second your emotion, or fix the broken...look UP and look IN.
- Friends and Fam...nobody like em: Nuff said. I know that I have an awesome network of friends and I have been raised by a wonderful family, but nothing helped me to see their faces more clearly than 2011. Nothing helped me see who other folks were in my life as well; just taking up space. I'm going to just say this because it rings to true for me right now: just because someone has been in your life for a long time or through a rough period does not mean that they are supposed to be around forever, or even for the next season. A wise woman told me about a week ago, "You wouldn't eat expired food would you? Well don't keep people past their expiration date." People should renew their purpose in your life continuously, as should you. If all you have to say about someone is how they WERE, and what they/you both USED to do, then...there you go. Don't be afraid to prune, or be pruned...the fruit that will grow is close to unimaginable. There are people that are waiting to enter your life that will not be appreciated or won't have the room because you're hoarding all of these old relationships/friendships...but that's another blog. As my Pastor would say, "you don't have to say Amen, just nod your head."
- Don't settle: This doesn't even just apply to relationships, as we normally hear it. Don't settle period. Sometimes we'll find ourselves in a life situation that'll make us close to, or flat out, DESPERATE. Don't act in this place. Whether it's a man/woman, a possession, a career/job...don't act out of desperation. Settling for just anything to keep from not having anything or just filling the need in the moment can cost you dearly. Challenge yourself to BE STILL. I learned that God will give you the desires of your heart...the stuff you may have even forgotten you wanted because you've gotten so used to settling or getting by. I'm glad I waited (or was forced to wait) for what I REALLY wanted. Now to apply that same theory to a man. LOL.
- Joy comes in the morning: No matter how dark the night, the sun will come out. Unfortunately we have a tendency to cloak our heads and close our eyes so that even when the dawn breaks, we still see darkness. Don't enable your own demise. It can really feel like the end of the world sometimes...really, it can, but the thing to know and remember is that...it isn't. And if it is...if you're living right, you'll be with Jesus anyway. I'm not a big fan of pity parties, but I understand; and we all feel the need to have one from time to time. The key is to have your moment and then exit stage left. Understand though, you should be the only guest in attendance. Don't send out invitations or try to drag others into your party. Then, shut that sucka down. The more time you spend feeling sorry for yourself, the less time there is to remember and act within your greatness...the talent and gift(s) that God placed within you.
Oh, it's gonna be a great year. I believe that. I've been blogging for years and years, but I felt it was time to let go of all of the archives and start fresh. I've learned those lessons, no need to keep carrying em on my back. Join me as we do a NEW THING here. Glad to have you. Stay awhile.
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